Writer and poet Ana Angelica van Doorn shares her own experience on being stereotyped and tells us why we should avoid this behavior.
Are we familiar with these stereotypes?
“Filipinos are all onion skinned.” / “Americans are arrogant.” / “French are chic and conceited.” / “Italian men are mammona” / “Germans are discriminating.” / “Filipino ladies are good cooks, submissive and emotional.” / “She married a foreigner for money.” / “Brits and Aussies are drunkards.”
Stereotypes are generalizations or assumptions that individuals make about the characteristics of all members of a group or a race based on a general adopted image which may or may not accurately represent reality.
One day my eleven year old daughter came home. She told me an Italian boy challenged her in front of their class:
“Hey marroncina, go back to where you came from!” the boy laughed in derision of “little brownie,” tagging.
“And where do you think I come from?” my daughter replied.
“Philippines! Your Mamma is dark and has this funny tomato nose!”
“Where were you born?” my daughter asked.
“Rome.”
My daughter told him: “I’m born in Switzerland. I have right to stay and live in this country.”
“Filipinos bring problems, you’re part Filipino.”
My daughter handled the situation well but I didn’t let the incident pass without a brief letter to the school director mentioning that any pinch of discrimination should be avoided with respect to mixed race students.
I learned that the boy’s Italian parents dislike strongly the migrants in Italy. I also received a furious phone call from an Italian mother exclaiming:
“I know you’re a divorcee desperately raising your two daughters. What a shame, you Filipinos… are only here for money, for a better life, to get Swiss passport!”
I replied, “Each one of us define a “better life” in a unique way. Many pass wrong judgment when the “better life” of others prick their own idea of what a better life is. So why stereotype?”
In life, there are degrees which we either correctly use or misuse when stereotyping:
many / the majority /always / all /none /some /a few
Wrong, antagonistic stereotypes:
grow worse as communication closes down
escalate emotions, tensions leading to misunderstanding
impede possible solutions for a team project
strong barrier in adjustment in a new country and culture
block our better understanding of others with different age, race, belief and culture
Sweeping generalization rise from letting our prejudice reign can to wrong assumptions, negative behaviors towards a particular group, and many disadvantageous attitude that can impede interaction and integration.
Stereotypes can be positive when generalizations are needed to be able to interact effectively. Sometimes having some idea of what people are likely to be can determine whether our behaviors towards them will be acceptable or not.
Keep in mind that to have an expectation is okay but we cannot judge any person or race based only on wrong stereotyping without proper honest understanding of the whole situation or properly knowing the person.
Why stereotype people according to their race or why compare and be discontented when you hold a “universal passport” for your chosen kind of “better life” shining through a better heart, an understanding mind and a joyful, good soul?”
About the author
Ana Angelica van Doorn, also known by her pen name Angelica Hopes, is a Filipina writer and poet. Her book Rhythm of a Heart, Music of a Soul can be purchased from Amazon or directly from her website www.angelicahopes.com.
Just because a person or a citizen comes from an affluent nation or from a developed country does not follow he or she is also the same….a cream of the crop of some sort.
It does not follow.
One’s country and way of life may be ‘advanced’ but that does not mean the persons who bad-mouthed you are.
No.
As the saying goes “do not rest on other people’s laurels”.. Rather make your own, also.
They are a contradiction of the country and culture they thought they were representing.
Our expatriates may be from a third world country…but they are the cream of the crop.
So it is the cream of the crop versus a loser in her or their country of origin.
for all we know.
they are a reflection of what they spoke.
And cultured, intelligent, educated individuals do not behave and act that way.
What you encountered are problem-laden, bitter persons who had no one to vent their frustrations on.
It is nice of you to have handled them gently.
Thank you Joseph Damoni for sharing your honest thoughts about this.
It’s true and I agree with you, “they are a reflection of what they spoke.”
My Dutch husband often say, “it shows more of the other person’s attitude and perceptions in life.”
It was also the surmounting other experiences that made me handle them gently although on some first year encounters with judgmental persons, deep inside I was raging with anger but I often thought, on what good will it be if I match their tactless, disrespectful tones?
Through the years we also develop thicker wall against similar irritating incidents and with patience we become more resilient.
Best regards,
Angelica
http://www.angelicahopes.com
I am amazed by how well your daughter was able to handle the situation. I hope she is not experiencing this anymore. Discrimination is the dark side of migration, and there will always be shades of it even though countries may have anti-bullying or measures that prevent discrimination. We cannot change the opinion of others whose minds are closed. But we certainly can shrug off, move on and just do our best in our career and life.
Thank you Roly for your concerns.
No, my daughter does not experience this anymore because we are living now in The Netherlands, the Dutch mentality is more open minded when it comes to giving chances and opportunities to migrants. In four years that I live here in The Netherlands, I and my daughters never experienced any form of discrimination compared to when I just arrived in Lugano, Switzerland in 1995 where I felt different forms of discriminations “every” year long even after a decade I lived there. Yes, I have learned to shrug it off and at times reply diplomatically expressed to the Italian or Swiss-Italian individual offender that any form of racism is unacceptable.