Just like rare orchids, as an expat we are visible for our exotic character, delicate and unique beauty. Rooted in our character are our interesting history, culture, strength, versatility, resilience, love and emotions.
Our sensitive emotions and feelings depend on where they come in. Many say Filipinos are onion-skinned. Yes, that’s true because we care, we can be touched spontaneously and be emotionally involved on circumstances affecting us and the others.
There is also a tendency to exaggerate situations matched with uncontrollable reactions to events. There is danger when emotions enter the logic of an opinion. With the values we hold on we determine our decisions and choices on what we like or don’t like, how we want to be affected or not.
We can be resilient, develop such ability to bounce back from pressures, adversity, trauma, painful experiences and stress. When our sense of values are strong enough to spark feelings, leading to emotions, our sensitivity on issues depend on how we tame it.
Some causes affecting the flow of negative emotions and sensitivity are:
– lack of sleep
– anxiety, tension and stress
– overlapping pressures and demands
– lack of proper planning
– sensitive by nature caused by unhappy, hostile childhood or critical past
– selective and clouded perception of things or situation
– descriptions used on people, culture, situations. Adjectives can be a simple convenient way to express but can become a complex manner to prick emotions too
Taming our sensitivity involves:
– connecting positively our emotions in acquiring to have a beautiful way of thinking by learning to handle stress effectively
– Use of logical thinking, where we apply values through our feelings
– Wise positioning. When sensitivity kicks in a controversy, ask where you want to position, “Which side where I want to be? Do I want to appear outside such strife and above it all? Do I let it run over my emotions or not?”
– Being honest with our feelings lead us to take a stand, longer patience, being aware of our negative emotions leading to anger is a step to change our emotional response;
– Living with mindfulness let us let go of an upsetting past, less anxious of the future and focus on the present moment.
– Have a good coping mechanism embracing self-confidence, humor, faith and optimism;
– Improving physical health: enough sleep, rest, exercise, nutritive foods;
– Removing toxic influence on mental and emotional attitudes
– being with friends with strong social, spiritual, moral support and great sense of humor
Extra sensitivity on issues may limit our perception leading to a selective perception where we only allow to see what fits best our conditions.
It is wise to truly listen first, with a clear mind, verify and ask questions if needed before showing our feelings and reactions.
Being sensitive is good for the awareness and respect for others’ feelings but exaggerated sensitivity fertilizes a garden of thorns, blocks an effective, harmonious communication and hinders our flexibility in adjustment to another culture.